I have received messages on this topic before but it seems relevant to
write on it again right now. I have been involved in reading a book that
has me thinking and meditating on the idea of letting go. As I have been
doing so more clarity on this topic is coming through and I am being led to
share it with all of you.
We have all heard this concept : let go of control and allow what
should happen to happen, or what is meant to happen to happen. Its always
seemed like a nice idea to me. Something I want to do, but when push
comes to shove I revert back into trying to control things again. Like I
can not trust the universe and need to "do it myself". I have been seeing
both through this book I am reading and through talking with others that I
am not alone in my struggles with this. Its the mark of a wise and profound person to be able to let go of the reins when things are tough.
I always tried to force myself to let go. Knowing that it was the
"right" thing to do based on the trust I have for God and the universal
energy that supports us. Forcing the letting go however did not work. I would say I am just going to let go of my control and see what happens. Then slowly thoughts about what I could do, or what I might be missing if I failed to act would creep in and I would find myself justifying why I needed to take back control. Frankly I lacked the patience to handle this forced method of letting go.
Recently in my meditations and random thoughts I have come to know a
different way to approach this letting go. Mainly inspired by the book
"Deeksha". I was shown a different way to embrace my shadow side and to
begin to let go of control in a gentler and more slow manner, without
force. In fact the insights I have received from my inner guidance based
on the knowledge I have taken in from this book seem almost counter
intuitive to letting go. The action is quite simple and yet incredibly
profound. What I am being gently led to do is to just notice the emotions
and thoughts I have when I am trying to control things. Not only notice
them but also claim them as me. No more asserting will power and
struggling against these shadow parts of myself. Its about the big
surrender that causes all other little surrenders to happen. Deciding to
give up the struggle for perfection.
Its ok to be all the parts of who we are, the good and the bad.
Recognizing this is a huge step. Notice those thoughts and emotions, claim
them, acknowledge them and then most importantly let them go. I noticed a
huge shift once I began acknowledging the "bad" part of myself- I am the
one who keeps myself connected and grounded in those negative traits. By
refusing to look at them they were left to grow subconsciously. I gripped
them and held on to the thoughts based in those negative traits- all the
while saying " I hate it that I get so angry, or impatient, or lust after
this or that" But I indulged in allowing myself to continue to think about
them endlessly, mainly because I would not claim them as my thoughts and
feelings. I saw it as a battle and thought I had to put my energy into suppressing them, which only led to my mind being fixed on them. Once I began saying " yep that's me" when ever one of the thoughts came to the surface. I would notice the negative thought would then try to float away. I say try because I also noticed a subconscious part of me grabbing
and holding onto those thoughts and feelings. A huge revelation.
So the focus this week is to first just notice and acknowledge those
parts of yourself that are not what you want to show the world.
Acknowledge the thoughts (not necessarily acting on them). Notice them as
part of who you are and then watch and allow them to drift away exposing
other pieces of who you are. There is a continual cycling of positive and negative thoughts always present. If we acknowledge this and stop holding on, then we can be fully present in our experiences and not wrapped up in our own thoughts and inner struggles. Allow yourself time to base your actions from the pieces of you that are positive. It does not require suppressing or denying the parts that are less flattering. The more you deny those parts the harder they fight for control or come up in the day to day shifts in thoughts and feelings we all experience. Its a surrender in the need to keep trying to look perfect. Underneath it all we all struggle with the same things, the same thoughts and feelings. The same "darkside". We are all also equally perfect and imperfect to eachtoher. The drama ends when we decide to quit putting on the show.
Do not rush this process. Spend days or weeks just noticing
temptations, feelings and acknowledging them as a part of the larger
picture of who you are. Get a full view of who you are when you are not trying to look a certain way, but just being who you really are, faults and all. Notice how you fluctuate between positive versions
of yourself and not so positive versions. Notice the timing and the
triggers, notice how long each phase lasts without judgment or suppression. Then acknowledge that all of these phases are you, the ever changing you that is not fixed in a certain mode of behavior or thought. Finally begin acknowledging the negative states and what they teach you, and begin waiting for a proper state to cycle in before you act in certain situations, without force but just from knowledge that your thought are always in flux. I hope that you find as I have just begun
to find, that by not stuffing the negative, that soon these negative states
surface less often and last a lot less longer than they once did. Notice
if you are grabbing and holding on to any states and begin trying to
surrender and trust that the parts of you that are needed in a given
situation will come on their own with out force, and leave when they are
not needed. Its an amazing process once you see it in yourself you then
begin to see it in other people and things around you. This process allows
us to see the Truth more clearly. Enjoy getting to really know all of who you are.
With Love and Truth