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August 27, 2009

Energy Guide 8/27/09

  Topic: Finding ourselves

   Whew!  It has been an intense time as of late.  Things are changing so rapidly it feels as though we are on sailing on a turbulent ocean in a rutterless boat.  That mental image keeps popping into my mind throughout this week.  It's a scary and exhilarating feeling.  One that I hope will not last too much longer.

   So what in the world is going on?  Everyone around me is asking the same question.  I find myself asking God the same thing several times a day.  Well, I actually received the answer way back in January when I tried to see what this year would bring.  We spent this summer manifesting the heck out of everything in our lives.  Those of us who managed to get into the energy of manifesting brought all kinds of creations into our lives.  Some were huge and others were small.  We were so into the excitement and energy of creating that we just kept doing it. We created an overabundance of things and situations in our lives.  We were manifesting machines.  This was an important time to show us what we are capable of.  Now we need to examine the shadow side of all of that manifesting.  There is a lesson for us to learn about our creations.  September is about that lesson.

  The energy has already shifted and yet its only the beginning.  I have to say that knowledge does not bring me comfort.  This past week has been difficult.  I have watched as what I have manifested in my life changed and become something other then what I imagined it to be.  I struggled with the changes and tried to will my creation back to its original form. The truth is that our creations are made of the same things we are.  They begin to take on life of their own and they shift as we shift and grow.  God made us and he crated us with an idea in mind.  God loved us enough to allow us to change and grow.  Allowing us to move away from his original plan for us.  He believed we would come back and continues in that belief.  This week has put me in touch with the heartbreak God must feel as he watches his creations stray from his original intentions for them.  But that is what creating is about.  Its bringing something into the world to express ourselves and then allow those expression to take on a life of their own and teach us something deeper about ourselves.  Through us God continues to know deeper and deeper parts of him/herself.  It is the same for our own creations.  They will morph and change and we can either try to resist that change and cling to our ideas.  We can try to force our creations, our manifestations to only be what we wanted them to be. Or we can release control and allow ourselves to learn more about who we really our from what our creations reflect in their changing forms.

   The purpose of the energy of September is to test what we have created, what we have manifested in our lives.  We did so much manifesting it is time for those manifestations to begin to reveal truth to us.  As things shift and fall and change we need to decide what it all means.   We can view it as loss, come to a place where fear shuts us down and leaves us repeating the same old patterns.  We can go to a place of feeling sorry for ourselves because what we manifested did not work the way we wanted it to.  Or we can choose to go to the place of love and truth.  We can view the shifts and the falling away of various things in our lives as opportunities to get to know ourselves more deeply.  Every loss reveals something about our own nature.  Something we need to know in order to continue to grow and evolve, to reach higher heights.  When things fall away we have nothing left but ourselves.  We can focus on everything that has been lost.  We can focus on how our plans and our manifestations fell short.  We can focus on the negative and how the fact that things did not turn out the way we intended must mean that we are flawed and unworthy.  Or we can choose to use this time to realize that in the end the most important thing is our relationship to the self and The Self (our higher divine self).  

   In times where things fall apart and we begin to feel alone we have a choice between feeling lonely or feeling whole in and of ourselves.  To choose the second requires a deep knowledge of the presence of the divine within each of us.  Even when it seems we are alone, if we turn in and seek within ourselves we can see that God and therefore all of humanity, all the living world is continually connected to us.  This month of September is about weeding out and finding what we really mean to call into our lives by challenging the things we have drawn to ourselves.  Those things that remain are what we really need.  Those things that fall aside need to be allowed to do so.  They may return in their own time and they may not.  This month is about trust in the divine.  Beyond the physical however the month of September has a more significant role.  The falling away forces us to go within and find where our true source of strength lies.  Where it is we truly get our nourishment and needs met from.  This month is about discovering our true selves.  It's about reuniting with our divine Self and finding strength and reassurance in that place.  When we bring our everyday self in line with our divine Self we begin to feel the flow of life again.

   This message is hopeful for those of us who feel like we were floating in the river of life going with the flow when all of a sudden we encountered class 5 rapids.  After being tossed about for the past few weeks we landed on shore and wondered what just happened.  Well, the message is that we began to get complacent and we forgot why it is we were floating to begin with.  We do not get to sit back and wait for some destination.  We are being shook up so that we wake up and notice the journey.  We are being woken up so that we continue to learn about ourselves as we continue down the river.  That is the point, to know and love ourselves so that we then become love incarnate.  To become love you need to feel love within.  The rapids have just woken us up so that we can now make a conscious decision to get back into the flow with consciousness of purpose.  No more pity parties, only opportunities for growth and for learning how to love ourselves, how to connect with the divine inside us.

  I have a practice that I have gotten out of the past few months.  I used to take several minutes 2 to 3 times per day to try to connect to God , to feel the presence of God within me.  I should close my eyes and ask God to fill me with love, to let me know the divine love within me.  I would sit until I felt a swell of emotion rise within me and fill me to the point it felt this love was spilling out.  Then this summer as things were manifesting so easily it was easy to let my practice slide.  I was receiving nurturing form outside myself and was seduced into surrendering to that instead of nurturing the love from within me.  The things outside ourselves are illusion, they are temporary.  September's lesson is to remember our true source of nourishment and to lead us back to the divine within.

   Take this time to reconnect with your self and Your Self.  When you can do that the rest of life takes care of itself in a magical way.

Until next time



With Love and Truth 





Email: innerguidance@evetoomey.com

August 21, 2009

Energy Guide 8/21/09

Topic : transformation/growing pains

     It has been a while since I have written, which always means that there have been major shifts in my own life.  These past few weeks have been particularly difficult.  I have made some decisions to follow my heart and soul.  Decisions that were not easy and that involved pain.  Not only pain for myself but for many others around me.  Decisions that have lead to events that I could have never predicted.  Events that have my entire life turned upside down.  Events that have made me feel like I have no floor under my feet to support me.  That being said, I would have not made any other decisions than what I did.  It was a decision made from the depth of who I am and it was made with the growth of my soul as its impetus.  I knew it would not be easy but had no idea how much would change as a result of my actions.  All of this has left me reeling, wondering why I was lead down this road, but never questioning my choices.  I have felt supported by God even when no one else seems to understand.  I have surrendered control and no longer have to do what is logical but, instead am following something else.  I am following a divine guidance that reassures me, in my darkest hours of doubt, that indeed everything will be ok.  In fact as my old life crumbles I have an ongoing promise that whatever takes form, whatever rises from these ashes will be even better than I could imagine.  Whatever comes in will be true to who I am and the days of pretending and facades will be done.

   As I have been struggling with the major transformations in my life I have been rereading old books and little tidbits I have written through the years.  I was led back to one of the places that restarted me on my journey towards spirituality.  When I began craving something more years ago I started by studying and learning as much as I could about the old Jewish mysticism Kabala.  It was a good starting point and I appreciate everything I learned in my studies.  The information leads me to continue my search and turn that search inside and towards my own individual relationship with God.  Within the teaching of Kabala there is a story that relates to the topic  of this guide.  It is originally a story about the creation of the universe, but as I recently reread it the application to the ongoing process of creation struck me.

     The creation story is about The Light and the vessel.  The story goes that in the beginning before space and time the only thing that existed was the Light (God/Creator).  It was not like the light we see from a bulb or candle but an ever present energy that was everywhere and everything.  The nature of this light was that of perpetual giving. This light existed solitary until one day it decided to create its opposite.  It wanted to create something to receive.  Upon the idea the vessel was immediately in form.  For millions of years the Light and the vessel existed together.  The light perpetually giving of itself and the vessel only receiving.  Then one day the vessel decided that it wanted to be able to give as well.  The vessel withdrew itself from the Light in order to find its own giving nature.  The minute the Light was no longer hitting the vessel, the vessel was immediately overwhelmed with desire to get the Light back.  The vessel rushed back into the Light.  In doing so however the vessel received the Light back all at once.  That much Light at once was more than the vessel’s structure could handle.  When the Light hit the vessel it instantaneously burst into billions of pieces that scattered across the universe.  These pieces according to Kabalistic tradition are the building blocks of our world and ourselves.  They are what make up all matter.  In essence the Big Bang.

  The story was always interesting to me as a metaphor for creation, for the initial start up of everything in the universe.  Until my recent experiences I had never saw its application to general day to day life.  I could never see how it could apply to the ongoing process of creation, that we are all involved in every day.  My vessel just shattered, just like the vessels of millions of people before me.  Just like you have all at one time or another had your own vessels shattered (and if not I am certain you will at some point if you are moving forward and creating in your life).  If we are seeking to change our nature and align it with that of the Creator and seek to become beings of giving, then it is part of the process to have our vessel’s shattered. 

    It occurred to me that I have watched countless people as their own vessels shattered and that the reaction to this explosion is generally the same.  We try to catch all the pieces and glue the vessel back together.  We get upset at the loss of the vessel and obsess about what used to be.  But in the original example of the creation process, in the creation of our universe this was not the reaction.  The Light did not try to gather up the pieces of the vessel.  It did not even create a replica to replace what had burst into endless pieces.  The Light allowed something new to form.  The Light let the inertia of the explosion continue in its own manner forming what it would.  Trusting that an even more perfect form would take shape to receive the Light’s perpetual giving.

   The message was clear.  These explosions, these bursting vessels in our lives are opportunity.  We view them as bad, we call it tragedy.  If we were there to witness the bursting of the first vessel we would say “what a horrible thing, what is going to happen now that there is no vessel to receive, all is lost”.  We would cry and wish for the vessel’s return, being completely unaware that in hoping for the old to return, in clinging to the old we would be preventing our universe from its creation.  It is the same in the mini bursting vessels of our lives.  There is pain as the vessels break.  There is loss and mourning but, as the pieces scatter to the wind they float on the opportunity for something new and even more grand to be created.  Within every tragedy lie the seeds of a new beginning, a new creation.

  We can resist the process.  We can try to tape together, pick up the pieces and glue them together frantically as our vessels break.  However, in doing this we stay stuck, unable to move forward.  We also increase our own misery by prolonging our suffering, by not letting go.   There is another option, we can choose to act as the Light did and surrender to the process, to see what will come to form if we trust in God’s love and plan.  Trust as the Light trusted, that creation has its own way of working things out.  In doing this we find that perhaps there is a place of peace within the raging storms that blow into our lives.  

    As I continue to stand in the middle of my own storm, with my vessel in a billion pieces I am choosing the path of surrender and trust.  It feels as if the world is looking at me like I must be out of my mind, but all I know and feel is my truth and I hold firm to that. 

   Generally these messages are global and I am hoping they apply to many people.  This one I hope does not.  But I know that at one point or another every one of you reading this will be able to relate.  I hope you will save this and look back on it when your vessel breaks and you are feeling the loss.  The “tragedy” of the broken vessel is a part of a beautiful process we call creation.  I hope that knowledge can give you the peace it has given me. 

With Love and Truth



Email: innerguidance@evetoomey.com

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